it's here

It was one year ago today and I am nothing but a bucket of tears.
I woke up to his mother giving me a hug and crying...

The boyfriend bought me 2 chocolate bars and told me I could eat them ( both in one sitting if i want). I've eaten one so far.
I've done nothing today but lay in bed and cry...


I hate what I did, and I want my baby back

Oh blog!

It's in 16 days; and I'm dying emotionally. I had an abortion, I took a life, I killed my child. If I would've known the fucked up mental rape that I go through on a daily basis- I wouldnt have done it. All sounds so selfish now, but it's true. I contemplate just grabbing a gun and ending it all but I am not a coward. I've made it a year- its gotta get better at some point.
I caught him in another lie today- seems to become a regular occurance now. But of course- I'm the cunt. How loving.
My moms apparently still out of town- no word from her...